I'm thankful that I didn't grow up with any terribly uncomfortable family traditions to mark major transitions from one season of my life to another. Birthdays were fun. And although I did get stabbed in the side with a red hot stick on my eighth birthday by a friend, it was not officially a part of the birthday ceremonies. (I still have a barely visible scar from that) There were no remarkable rites of passage into manhood. I did endure a few school graduation ceremonies, but for the most part our culture is lacking in ways to powerfully designate and celebrate threshold moments in life.
In other cultures around the world you know the exact moment when you 'become a man' or 'become a woman' and the whole of your society stands up, takes note of it, and affirms that a major line has been crossed. You know that you are not who you used to be. I am announcing my lament! 'Rituals' of Passage can be beautiful, affirming, and can help orient a person to who they are and where they are in life, what their responsibilities are and empower them to move forward.
When Jesus was baptized, the Father spoke a blessing over him saying, "You are my Beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased". In that ritual of passage at the Jordan with the crowd, John the Baptist, The Holy Spirit, and the voice of the Father a clear line was drawn between the Jesus born of the virgin Mary growing up a human child, and the Jesus whose explicit ministry was beginning. The next thing you know, the devil is trying to bewilder Jesus in the wilderness with the challenge, "If you really are the Son of God..." But Jesus carries with him the memory of his sending out by the witness of The Spirit and the naming words of his Father. He holds the course.
This last Friday was my wife's birthday and the her first full year of having been married. That first year was difficult and painful, but God has wrought so much good! So some friends got together (after nearly dying from cake-intake) and had a little Ritual of Passage ceremony to recognize the end of one year, one season and to send her into a new year with our blessing, advice, and our accompaniment. We took our time and each shared something we'd seen in her life this year, and to send her on into the new year with a personal charge, we sang a blessing hymn and prayed.
It was a beautiful time. People were honest, people were encouraging, and some even quite challenging. In the end, I saw a beautiful thing: a family of friendship carrying burdens, sharing wisdom and love, and pledging to walk forward together in faith.
Do you know someone who could use a creative Rite of Passage to celebrate and send them on?
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